This is a tale of two star-crossed lovers. Do not be fooled by their human-like appearances; Kevin and Sarah were indeed nachos wearing clever disguises so that they might be able to eat nachos freely, without being accused of cannibalism.
You see, long long ago, the mystical land of the suburbs of southern California were ruled by a great samurai nacho leader called Nacho Master Samurai Prime. Although he and his band of nacho clansmen were fearsome warriors, all was well in the land and the nachos lived in relative peace.. until one fateful day.
It is a well known fact that young lovers such as the Kevy and the Sarah think that they are impervious to any harm, because the power of love conquers all. Because of these delusions couples have been known to dare to defy social order and authority, and that is precisely what happened one brisk autumn mourn.
"Let's make some nachos."
"Okay."
And so their fate was sealed.
Kevin and Sarah feasted upon their nachos, and then decided to romp about in flowers and fields for the rest of the afternoon.
So immersed in utter retarded joy and flowery goodness they were that they did not notice the small army approaching. Enter: Nacho Master Samurai Prime and his two best assassins, Crazy Nacho Ninja Death and Angry Gun Nacho Terror.
As the warriors descended upon the lovers, they were indeed quite frightened.
Knowing that Kevin was a powerhouse of manhood and ass-kicking, the nachos knew that in order to do any damage, he needed to be taken out first. Crazy Nacho Ninja Death took on the task, bludgeoning Kevin with his nun chucks.
Although he put up a daring an brave fight, Kevin fell under the wrath of the nacho and was knocked unconscious. Then the nachos were free to attack his weak spot: his beloved Sarah.
The clansmen drew towards the frightened girl menacingly. What happened shortly thereafter is truly too gruesome for words. Needless to say, Sarah was no longer able to cling to her bundle of flowers.
Several hours later, Kevin awoke to a horrific scene; Sarah was extremely freakin' dead. He was heartbroken and filled with rage. "WHYYYYY?!?!?" he screamed.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"
Of course, no one answered his cries, and Kevin snapped soon thereafter. He swore to devote his life to seeking revenge against his purest, truest enemy, Nacho Master Samurai Prime. He knew that his foe hid somewhere in the front yard, but where? Where?! Could he be on the porch? In the bushes in front of the porch? Over at the side of the garage where the cat likes to sleep? There was only one way to find out, so Kevin set out in search of the Master. He did not immediately find his nemesis; instead, he was faced once again with Crazy Nacho Ninja Death on the front lawn. This time, Kevin knew to expect mad ninja skills to be unleashed upon him.
He played possum at first, letting the nacho try to hit him a few times before kicking his weapon out of his.. well, nachos don't have hands, but whatever was holding the nun chucks. Anyway.
Once the nacho was rendered powerless, Kevin kicked some serious nacho ass. Crazy Nacho Ninja Death was shattered almost to death. Almost. Kevin was not done with his victim yet; he was both hungry for nachos, and hungry for information. First came the information.
Kevin tied up the injured nacho and questioned him in regards to the whereabouts of his master. The nacho would not be broken at first, but under hours or possibly a few minutes of constant screaming and pointing, he gave in. Nacho Master Samurai Prime was hiding in the bushes in front of the porch. All Kevin needed to do to enact his revenge was go to the lawn and beckon his enemy, and they would be able to engage in the epic battle between nacho-man and nacho-Samurai that had been a long time in the making. First, though, he had to finish off the ninja.
And he did.
Finally, it was time to face Nacho Samurai Master Prime. They met on the lawn in front of the bushes.
The battle was a vicious one indeed. The Master called forth the rest of his army in hopes of destroying Kevin. It did not work, for Kevin was driven by love, vengeance, and cheese. There was no stopping him. The entire nacho army fell that day under Kevin's wrath.
From that day forth, no nacho was ever seen terrorizing the suburbs again. People ate nachos without fear, and Kevin went on to fill the void that Sarah's death had left him with a lot of cheese. He got kind of fat. The end!
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