At one very dark and truly sad time, a peasant decided to break away from the muffin values and rebel like no other. He gave in to the evils of PIE. I'm as big a fan of pie as the next gal, but nothing should come before muffins. NOTHING.
This blasphemer felt the need to make his evil beliefs known to me. I was appalled, and a fight ensued:
Danny: mmmm....pie
Sarah: VILE SERPANT! LEAVE MY GARDEN OF MUFFINS!
Danny: But it's so good...mmm...pie...it's so tasty...don't you want to try some?
Sarah: I do not deny the goodness of pie.. but it is not even a close second to my Lord's muffin.
Danny: I'm afraid you've been lead astray
Sarah: My Muffin Man would not do such a thing
Sarah: You're in association with Flash Man, aren't you? Just admit it.
Sarah: You filthy fucking wretch.
Sarah: You should be ashamed!
Danny: No, I work for no one but the great pie baker
Sarah: Thou speaketh such blasphemy!
Danny: This muffin man has misled you, can't you see, you are turning your back on pie
Sarah: He would never lead me astray!
Sarah: He loves me!
Danny: Lies, it's all lies
Danny: Pie is your true love and you know it
Danny: admit it, come back to the light that is pieygoodness
Sarah: NEVER!
Sarah: I was going to send you a chocolate chip muffin. But no, not anymore. Eat your godrot infested pies.
Danny: I will
Danny: I tried to save you
Sarah: I hope you fucking choke on them!
Danny: but now, you can rot in muffin hell
Sarah: It is not hell, its a glorious place
Sarah: A place of magic and muffin praise
Sarah: A place where there are no Flash Men nor Kangaroos of impending doom
Sarah: Only muffins, and me.
Danny: Believe what you will
Sarah: And none of you pie loving infidels
Danny: but too late the truth well be revealed
Sarah: I have seen the golden muffin fields
Danny: and you will find yourself in a hell of cupcake wannabes
Sarah: If you think about it, pies are cupcake wannabes too. Flat, giant fucking cupcakes.
Danny: no no, cupcakes are small pies
Sarah: LIAR!
Sarah: It all stems from the muffin!
Sarah: A cupcake is a frosted muffin
Sarah: And a pie.. a pie is a flattened, fruit filled muffin
Danny: no no, the muffin is just an excuse to attempt to have cupcakes for breakfast!
Sarah: SPEW NOT SUCH FILTH BEFORE ME!
Danny: The truth hurts I know
Danny: but, it is not too late to return to the flock
Sarah: It is all lies. The truth is beautiful. The truth is muffins.
Danny: Then why, my friend, do clowns not throw muffins at each other
Sarah: Clowns would not waste the muffin. They waste the useless pies, for the world can be without the pies. The world cannot be without the muffins.
Danny: No you see, it is because of the pies abundance that it is the greatest, and that there is enough pie for it's glory to be used to entertain, as well as feed
Sarah: There are pies in abundance because the true believers want nothing of them.
Danny: There are pies in abundance because the true believers create enough to share with all
Sarah: I can't believe how fucking long we've been arguing over pastries
Sarah: This is poetry.
Danny: yeah it is
Danny: I'm saving this
Sarah: Me too.
Sarah: Its going on the site.
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