Once upon a lonely night, two losers were sitting online being, well, fucking losers. Their names were Sarah (our heroine) and Justin (our um.. other.. heroine? Yeah.)
 
Sarah had recently acquired a fruit cake. This was for shock value more than anything; she intended to lick it until it stopped being funny and then move onto more phallic foods.
This both perplexed and aroused Justin. He dealt with this the only way he knew how: by daring Sarah to eat it. Sarah, who frequently eats food off the floor, agreed without hesitation.
They both knew that this was no random couch M&M, though, so precautionary measures were taken. They had to know what they were up against:
fruitcake ('früt-"kAk) noun.
1 : a rich cake containing nuts, dried or candied fruits, and spices
Well, that cleared everything up. Sarah was ready to go for the gold.
Such enthusiasm! But will she actually do it? There's only one way to find out..
Onto Chapter 2 »
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